Why it's okay to be sad when you're pregnant

So I'm currently 23 weeks pregnant and have full style ugly cried every day for the last week, I've been feeling down for a month or so now and initially felt super bad about it because I'm so lucky to be carrying a little growing bundle of joy inside me. But recently it clicked, I'm definitely allowed to be sad and here's why.

1. Your life is about to change in a way you can't predict 
Be it your first, second, fifth or tenth child, at some point within the next 9 months your life is going to change in probably the biggest way it ever has, and that's scary. Suddenly you become aware that soon, your life is not going to be about you any more and your whole world is going to revolve around raising and protecting this little person that you made yourself. Personally, I think that's terrifying.

2. Your body is constantly changing
Something that fit perfectly and looked amazing yesterday might not fit tomorrow which is super frustrating when you finally find an outfit that you feel and look good in. Your favourite jeans don't fit anymore and you look kinda weird in your pre-pregnancy clothes. Also, as humans it's been drilled in to our minds for years that our bodies need to be a certain level of perfection to be deemed acceptable, and now we're wider, bigger and stretch markeir than before. Of course we're thrilled to be making a human, but the toll that it's taking on our bodies is not fun. When society is telling you that you need to be thinner but you now have no control over the fact that you just keep getting bigger, it's hard.

3. Your hormones are going insane
To be fair, you are literally making another human within your own body and because of that, uncontrollable hormone changes are taking place, it doesn't seem fair and to be honest it's not fair. But it doesn't last forever, soon you'll have something shiny and new to constantly worry and get emotional about.

4. You can't do things anymore
Rollarcoasters, drinking, sleeping on your front, smoking and going on nights out are all things of the past now. Again, this isn't something that lasts forever but it definitely is frustrating during pregnancy. Not being able to take certain medication for something as simple as the flu or back pain. Missing out on family trips to theme parks because you're not allowed on rides. All this stuff is just teaching us how to make sacrifices for when our little one is here. But that doesn't make it any less annoying while you're pregnant.


5. Pregnancy Symptoms
I'm sure I don't have to tell you that being pregnant is hard, but for any non-baby-makers, BEING PREGNANT IS HARD. Pregnancy symptoms change week by week and sometimes the symptoms are awful. Lack of sleep, acne, morning (all day, every day) sickness, constipation, general feelings of discomfort and so on - and that's just if you don't develop any pregnancy conditions like Symphysis Pubic Dysfunction. Your body hurts a lot, there's weird things going on inside and out and sometimes it just gets overwhelming! As well as the fact you're stressing about baby's health and if you skip past a symptom and manage to avoid something like morning sickness, you then worry about why you didn't have it! There's no winning, and it sucks.

17 Weeks Pregnant

Oh my God my bladder!!
 I thought that all this bladder stuff was supposed to be done with until the thrid trimester now? Nope! My loo trips are now getting so frequent that I may as well just set up camp there and get a duvet and pillow. This week has been the first time that my bladder has been waking me up every couple of hours and I find that my stomach gets reaaaaaally painful and swollen feeling if I even try and hold in a wee for more than a couple of minutes, I guess my little man is just using my bladder as a trampoline at the moment! Hopefully it'll settle back down soon and start to get less irritating as it's really starting to impact my sleep which is NOT a good idea as I've really noticed mood swings kicking in as well.
 At the minute I'm just super emotional, taking everything personally and am getting far too angry far too quick, like 0-100 in 0.2 which paired with no sleep due to constant trips to the loo is getting really annoying, hopefully I'll chill out soon too.
 Heartburn is less evil this week though it's still here it's definitely getting less frequent and less intense when I do get it.
 This week I got diagnosed with SPD which I talk about in detail here.
 Also, I felt him kicking for the first time this week which was the strangest feeling that I can't even describe but when it happens, you'll know it's happened. So strange but so lovely to feel him kicking and moving around inbetween scans, it just feels like a little bit of a peace of mind that he's still okay and he's growing. It was magical.

My tummy is definitely getting bigger and rounder and harder to hide with baggy clothes and this is the first week I've had anyone outside of my family ask to touch it, which was really strange but at least she asked! 

I'm still totally in love with the name Zachary but now prefer the spelling with a 'h' instead of a 'k' and am thinking his full name will be Zachary Aaron Christopher Corbett. I love it (and his initials will spell his name! ZACC!)

Symphysis Pubic Dysfunction

So today I went to my GP to discuss a real pain that I've been having in my pubic bone region as well as my lower back and hips that's been an issue for a couple of weeks. The doctor I saw was absolutely lovely and had me jump on the metal bed thingy so that she could feel my hips and check the mobility in my legs, my right leg was fine but my left leg just kept jarring and would not play ball at all (as well as being crazy painful!).
She then - with very little warning - jabbed me right in the pelvis just on my pubic bone with some real force! It was such a surprise and so painful that I really could have just jabbed her back, right in the eye!
She then told me that she was a little concerned about the amount of pain and how tight my hips feel and diagnosed me with SPD (Symphysis Pubic Disorder) which should go away straight after I give birth to little one but will most likely be pretty severely painful for the remaining months of my pregnancy.
SPD is a problem with my pelvis that means that through pregnancy, the bones and ligaments that join at my pelvis are getting less stable. This also happened because for some reason my hips aren't getting wider whilst baby is getting bigger which poses no problem to baby but for me my body is finding it difficult to adapt to being pregnant and is intent on staying the same size as my pre-pregnant frame.
Annoyingly there's nothing that the docs can prescribe me as codeine would be too harsh on baby and paracetamol doesn't even touch the pain so my only real option is physiotherapy and a support belt to try and hold the bones and ligaments together until baby is here and the pain goes away!
I've also gotten myself a V pillow:
Which I have genuinely found is a godsend as crossing my legs is one of the things that slightly alleviates the pain so if I put the pillow between my legs and cross them over it it makes it a lot easier to sleep.
That and bouncing one leg up and down quickly helps to make sure that my leg doesn't cease up at the hip which is really painful and super inconvenient when I'm at work or trying to get out of bed!
Other than that, a hot water bottle and paracetamol helps alleviate some of the pain and for me I also find sitting cross-legged useful. And a cup of tea.

Luckily this is something that from what I can gather should go away straight after I've had him so only 4 1/2 months left of this!!